Rele-vent

This is not something that's never been posted before, so please excuse any redundancies. But regardless of the stories told and experiences shared it is an issue and it's (most unfortunately) not going away any time soon. So I'm going to vent. Sorry.

I was browsing a forum and came across a post from a young woman. She and a few friends had attended a swingers party in light of curiosity and adventure. She had been drinking, as people do at parties. Her friends had partaken in the festivities and she stood back, not ready to experiment. At this time a man grabbed her, pulled her up against a wall, pinned her arms and painfully penetrated her. She told him to stop and that it hurt but without the ability to move, she was powerless.

A terrifying story. Her friends have been unreceptive to her remorse and she was looking to the online community she posted to, as many do, for advice and comfort.

What she was met with was largely skepticism and blame.

"If you play with fire, you will get burned"

"What did you expect?"

"What kind of weapon did he use?"

"Why didn't you scream?"

Etc., etc., etc.

All while referring to her as a slut, and the like.

Excuse my language, but what the fuck?

Why do we so often scrutinize these stories and try to find ways to blame the person who was raped. Why did you wear that dress? Why did you get drunk? Why didn't you fight more?

Yes, you have to be careful with the amount you drink. Yes, it was a risky situation. But this was all these commenters seemed to be able to dwell on. Are there not more important questions to consider?

Why do we fail to ask the predator questions about his personal responsibility. Why did you think it was okay to pin a drunk person up against a wall and force yourself on her?

Hello?

Rape is illegal. It is wrong. It makes me sick. The rapist is the problem. Not the alcohol, time, clothing, party, location or sexuality.

STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM.

Seriously. This is the hostile environment that leads to 60% of rapes being unreported. And this needs to stop. Think about it.

LGBT Hospital Visitation Rights

It went into effect Tuesday that patients now are able to make decisions regarding their own visitation rights and whom is to make medical decisions on their behalf, "paving the way for members of the LGBT community to have further control over their own medical decisions, " according to an article in the Huffington Post.

I was certainly glad to hear this. Stories of people unable to see their loved ones in times of crisis haunt me and have been a constant concern for those in committed homosexual relationships. This new legislation is great. It is important. But it is also, not enough.

I can't help but worry that this legislation and other legislation that is intended to accommodate the LGBT community is pushing us further away from the primary issue: equal marriage rights for everyone. I'm fearful that the more we develop laws that cater to the LGBT community, the more arguments will arise that gay marriage is no longer necessary now that there are loopholes in which gays can acquire the rights that they deserve. These rules would not need to be put into place if gay marriage was legal and rights could be distributed as such. We don't need loopholes, we need equality. I only hope that this is increasing the sensitivity of our country and supporting a more progressive mentality.

I'll take this small step towards equality with a grain of salt. Salt makes everything taste better.